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Monday, 25 July 2005
Anywho, let's begin,
Yesterday, someone threw an egg at my window, and i do not know why, I mean I'm a lovely man/woman. I'm an inbred 42 year old jiggalo with a slight obsession for younger women with bollocks.I don't find many. But anyway.
This egg came from the sky, i believe from god, it was a special egg, it shined with a glint of magical awe, before it smacked me in the face, then i was pretty pissed off ...
I don't know why, but this egg looked stranger than the average egg, here's a picture of said egg.
I can't quite put my finger on what was wrong with it, I think the Mum was dyslexic or something.
So I thought I should Cremate the egg, then I realised it was too big for my fireplace. So I decided to pulp it.
This is where I tell you my recipe for
"THE HEAVENLY EGG !!!"
I Beat the egg repeatedly with a spoon until it bit me, I forgave the egg in the hope it wouldn't get annoyed (eggs these days are so short tempered)
I thought, hmmmmm I'm going to need a bigger object so ...
Stage 1: Run over the egg with your car (try to avoid any roadkill on your wheel before doing so, you can catch hideous diseases doing such a thing such as dyslexia and blindness of the toe)
Repeat the reverse and Forward motion until egg looks like this:
Stage 2: peel the egg remains from the road and give mouth to mouth recesitation (salmanella should not be a problem because you only get that from tramps). Then place the egg in a mixing bowl ready for use as seen below.
Stage 3: Get a wife/boyfriend/gender confused lover and have them mix it for you. (we don't want those tender little arms of yours put under any pressure do we now, no we don't ...)
Stage 4: Scarmble the eggs ( I don't know how, my hobo friend did that for me, he even added the seamen of his hobo lady friend for free !!!
And all it cost was a mcdonalds baguel and a clipping from my pubic hair.
Stage 5: Enjoy! After affects of eating the wonder egg may include hobo pregnancy for ladies (and very strange men like myself), maybe achne and in a worst case scenario, hallucinations of the most hideous images, below are some artists impressions of the wonder egg hallucinations!
OMFG ITS HIDEOUS !!!
This cute little fella tells me to burn things.
Oh, oh dear, how did that picture get in there, thats from my internet wedding. Oh dear god no, the memories, THE MEMORIES !!! STEVEN COME BACK TO ME, STEVEN !!!!!!!!!
Posted by eggsperts
at 6:15 PM GMT
eggspert wonder egg
PUN !!!
Anywho, let's begin,
Yesterday, someone threw an egg at my window, and i do not know why, I mean I'm a lovely man/woman. I'm an inbred 42 year old jiggalo with a slight obsession for younger women with bollocks.I don't find many. But anyway.
This egg came from the sky, i believe from god, it was a special egg, it shined with a glint of magical awe, before it smacked me in the face, then i was pretty pissed off ...
I don't know why, but this egg looked stranger than the average egg, here's a picture of said egg.
I can't quite put my finger on what was wrong with it, I think the Mum was dyslexic or something.
So I thought I should Cremate the egg, then I realised it was too big for my fireplace. So I decided to pulp it.
This is where I tell you my recipe for
"THE HEAVENLY EGG !!!"
I Beat the egg repeatedly with a spoon until it bit me, I forgave the egg in the hope it wouldn't get annoyed (eggs these days are so short tempered)
I thought, hmmmmm I'm going to need a bigger object so ...
Stage 1: Run over the egg with your car (try to avoid any roadkill on your wheel before doing so, you can catch hideous diseases doing such a thing such as dyslexia and blindness of the toe)
Repeat the reverse and Forward motion until egg looks like this:
Stage 2: peel the egg remains from the road and give mouth to mouth recesitation (salmanella should not be a problem because you only get that from tramps). Then place the egg in a mixing bowl ready for use as seen below.
Stage 3: Get a wife/boyfriend/gender confused lover and have them mix it for you. (we don't want those tender little arms of yours put under any pressure do we now, no we don't ...)
Stage 4: Scarmble the eggs ( I don't know how, my hobo friend did that for me, he even added the seamen of his hobo lady friend for free !!!
And all it cost was a mcdonalds baguel and a clipping from my pubic hair.
Stage 5: Enjoy! After affects of eating the wonder egg may include hobo pregnancy for ladies (and very strange men like myself), maybe achne and in a worst case scenario, hallucinations of the most hideous images, below are some artists impressions of the wonder egg hallucinations!
OMFG ITS HIDEOUS !!!
This cute little fella tells me to burn things.
Oh, oh dear, how did that picture get in there, thats from my internet wedding. Oh dear god no, the memories, THE MEMORIES !!! STEVEN COME BACK TO ME, STEVEN !!!!!!!!!
Posted by eggsperts
at 6:03 PM GMT
How to, eggsperts eggs !!!
PUN !!!
Anywho, let's begin,
Yesterday, someone threw an egg at my window, and i do not know why, I mean I'm a lovely man/woman. I'm an inbred 42 year old jiggalo with a slight obsession for younger women with bollocks.I don't find many. But anyway.
This egg came from the sky, i believe from god, it was a special egg, it shined with a glint of magical awe, before it smacked me in the face, then i was pretty pissed off ...
I don't know why, but this egg looked stranger than the average egg, here's a picture of said egg.
I can't quite put my finger on what was wrong with it, I think the Mum was dyslexic or something.
So I thought I should Cremate the egg, then I realised it was too big for my fireplace. So I decided to pulp it.
This is where I tell you my recipe for
"THE HEAVENLY EGG !!!"
I Beat the egg repeatedly with a spoon until it bit me, I forgave the egg in the hope it wouldn't get annoyed (eggs these days are so short tempered)
I thought, hmmmmm I'm going to need a bigger object so ...
Stage 1: Run over the egg with your car (try to avoid any roadkill on your wheel before doing so, you can catch hideous diseases doing such a thing such as dyslexia and blindness of the toe)
Repeat the reverse and Forward motion until egg looks like this:
Stage 2: peel the egg remains from the road and give mouth to mouth recesitation (salmanella should not be a problem because you only get that from tramps). Then place the egg in a mixing bowl ready for use as seen below.
Stage 3: Get a wife/boyfriend/gender confused lover and have them mix it for you. (we don't want those tender little arms of yours put under any pressure do we now, no we don't ...)
Stage 4: Scarmble the eggs ( I don't know how, my hobo friend did that for me, he even added the seamen of his hobo lady friend for free !!!
And all it cost was a mcdonalds baguel and a clipping from my pubic hair.
Stage 5: Enjoy! After affects of eating the wonder egg may include hobo pregnancy for ladies (and very strange men like myself), maybe achne and in a worst case scenario, hallucinations of the most hideous images, below are some artists impressions of the wonder egg hallucinations!
OMFG ITS HIDEOUS !!!
This cute little fella tells me to burn things.
Oh, oh dear, how did that picture get in there, thats from my internet wedding. Oh dear god no, the memories, THE MEMORIES !!! STEVEN COME BACK TO ME, STEVEN !!!!!!!!!
Posted by eggsperts
at 5:52 PM GMT
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